Just. Plain. Wrong.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the STRAPLESS THONG:



I ask this question: what are the ladies wearing these days where a "traditional" thong provides TOO MUCH coverage? I don't know about you, but I can't really figure out what is holding this strip of fabric up. And can you believe that this strip of fabric actually costs $36.00? I think you cold get some gauze and a few band-aids at the local CVS for about $3.57 and get the same effect.

The makers of this contraption declare this garment perfect for the following activities:

• Form fitting dresses
• High Cut dresses
• Pole dancing
• Sunbathing
• Spas and salons

(seriously, I could not make this up).

WHEW! I had been looking for a new Pole Dancing undergarment for ages.

THIS is Hilarious

This guy, Guy Ben-Ner, shot an "installation" (I think that's fancy talk for "short artsy film") called Stealing Beauty featuring himself and his family... take a look at the description:

"Stealing Beauty" was shot without permission at numerous IKEA stores around New York, Berlin and Tel Aviv. In the movie the Ben-Ners quite naturally inhabit idealized showroom interiors with price tags dangling from furniture, and shoppers occasionally interrupting the family's daily routines. Because of the hit-and-run filming, the traditional cinematic continuity is abandoned and the changing sets are stand-ins for their home. The narrative, however, remains linear as the father offers life lessons on the subjects of economic exchange, meaning of private property, ethics, and family love eventually leading to the children's rebellious manifesto.

I am sure I am supposed to take this all seriously and consider the impact of themes concerning "ownership" and "continuity" and other highbrow theories. But I just can't (though I haven't see the installation). I mean, take a look at the promo photos:





The one in the robe kills me... imagine picking out your Ektorp sofa at Ikea and seeing this guy, Guy, and his family, shooting a scene in one of the fake bedrooms. Excellent.

Learn more here: http://www.postmastersart.com/index.html

Puppy Love

My extreme puppy lust has been exacerbated by the opening of an adoption drive taking place about 10 steps from my office sponsored by Pedigree® . Naturally I had to stop by and was pretty impressed by the set up:

(Free Coffee House)

(Featured Puppies)

(the area to play with the dogs)

(the escalator down to the street)

The PEDIGREE® DOGSTORE is a two-week celebration of The PEDIGREE® Adoption Drive, which helps millions of shelter and breed rescue dogs find loving homes.

At the DOGSTORE, you'll have a chance to learn more about dog adoption and rub the bellies of some of New York's most eligible adoptable dogs as they play in our indoor dog park.

And while you're there, shop for exclusive Dogs Rule® merchandise—with all profits going to help shelter dogs.

Ledgendary

You may or not know that I have a particular love for Tina Turner. In fact, I have been known to sing her songs (particularly, You Better Be Good To Me) at the top of my lungs while driving alone. I have seen the movie What's Love Got To Do With It numerous times. I dig this woman, her music and her story.

Delighted am I tonight to see her performance on the Grammy's, which was a total surprise to me (maybe this was well publicized, I am not that plugged in).

Let me tell you: Tina is looking FIERCE! She is in the neighborhood of 70 years old and she was rocking her silver spandex like no one else could. I was so excited, I took pictures of the TV:


I should be lucky to look half as good as she does when I get to her age. Hell, I should be lucky to look half as good as she does...today!

In Lieu of Super Tuesday

Today I ran into (almost literally) Rudy Giuliani. I was walking on 6th avenue to grab a sandwich and noticed him walking with some other guy (no entourage). I thought to myself, hey, that looks like Giuliani. He caught me staring so I felt compelled to say something, so our transaction went as follows:

Me: "Hey, Mayor!"
Him: "Hey, how ya doing?"

I was pretty jazzed about it. Not that I would have voted for him if he stuck it out, but you know, it's fun to see people on the street that you see on TV. Plus, I am relieved to see he is looking well. In recent press I thought he looked quite gaunt and aged. Whew.

At least he was nicer than Alan Alda.

Wheeeee! I voted this morning; it was my first time voting in the state of NY. I think my voting machine was built around the time that Truman was in office, so hopefully my vote is actually counted. I am very excited about this election, if you hadn't noticed already. So, in the words of Charlotte bellow, from Making Fiends, I urge you to Vote Vote Vote!

EPISODE 12 - Sung by Charlotte (1), (2):

(1) Vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a goat,
'cause goats can't vote.
vote vote vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a candied yam,
'cause candied yams can't vote.

Vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a donut,
'cause donuts don't vote.
Vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a potted plant,
'cause potted plants don't vote.

Vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a fellon,
'cause fellons can't vote.
Vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote, vote.
Unless you are a can of ham,
'cause cans of ham can't vote

Shortly

In a few minutes I am going to:

Close up shop
Trudge through the rain across Times Square
Down to 42nd Street
Jump on the 1, 2 or 3 express train to Penn Station (just one stop)
Find the 7:09 Train on Track 21 (scratch that, it's now 7:45 and I am still in the office)...
Sit in a seat ideally that does put me in too close proximity to any of the following types of people:
- Crazy
- Smelly
- Angry
- A Loud Talker
- Or otherwise annoying

I will read my book (which I want to be loving, but just am not): The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I will read probably 50 pages on the train

I missed the express, so I will get in to my town at 7:45
Damir will be waiting in a warm car
We will go to our favorite Thai place, where we go nearly every Friday night
I think I might have a red curry. Or Pad Pirhod. And a Thai Beer.
We will go home
Maybe we'll put on a movie, I just got TUDOR (the Showtime series) from Netflix.
And settle into the weekend,

Bliss.