Breathe Deep

Tomorrow we leave for vacation.

I had so wanted to take a "real" vacation involving a flight to somewhere new, pretty scenery and fruity cocktails. Just the two of us: our first real vacation with no secondary agenda. But then, an unexpected new car purchase, an unexpected oral surgeon expense (thanks to no dental), and hopefully a wedding on the horizon, all made it just too much of a stretch right now. Alas. We are still getting the hell out of Dodge. And by Dodge, I mean this nutty little corner of the world: Long Island.

We need it.

We are getting in the new car tomorrow and driving South to North Carolina. All I know is destination #1 is to see my Dad and Jan. They've lived down there a good 3 or 4 years now, and this is my first trip to their home. Amazing, I know.

Beyond the obvious happiness to see them, I am really excited about a few boxes of nearly forgotten belongings that I haven't seen in about 10 years (due to their various moves, and mine). I have no idea what I stored in these boxes when I packed them up upon graduating from college. I suspect many many photo albums, some boring old yearbooks, a stuffed animal or two, and God knows what else. It will be like my own private Christmas where 22 year old Terra left presents for 34 year old Terra. Sweet.

Maybe I will get to Raleigh to see old H.S. friend Colleen, or maybe we will go further East to the Outter Banks. Maybe we'll just hang with my folks. We have No Plan.

It is strange not to have a plan. I do so much travel and event planning for others now that I dread doing my own. And it's both a blessing and a curse that Damir doesn't take on the planning himself. In theory I wish he would, but I think I might be too much of a control freak to leave him to it in peace. So, we both win, I guess.

I left the office tonight in knots of stress. Feeling like I left too much undone, too many questions not fully answered. I walked the 12 blocks to Penn Station with tightness in my chest, barely noticing the beautiful crisp fall evening. But then, upon descending into the bowels of the station, I chanced upon this awesomeness:



Man, these guys went at it for a good 10 minutes, I filmed the last few on my blackberry, so sorry for the shitty quality. But can you see how fun they are? They made me wish I could play an instrument. That I hadn't quit the flute in the 4th grade after I slammed it in the car door in the grocery store parking lot. That I didn't quit the guitar in the 7th grade after getting discouraged that I would never be the next great Singer-Songwriter. If I had experienced music being played like this, with such abandon and in birkenstocks, maybe I would have stayed with it. Ack. Probably not.

Anyway, it made me breath again and realize it doesn't matter where we go as long as I have my baby by my side.