Last night, after being woken up at 3am by some girl screaming drunk on the street outside, I was thinking about yesterday's post again.
And I decided this: it's really about hope. Not knowing what destiny holds for you means you continue to hope. This can be a beautiful or painful thing. I am proud that despite many disappointments I am able to keep hope alive and remain optimistic (most of the time). However, that in and of itself is a challenge. I don't want to become embittered and angry. It takes work to keep one's spirits up when faced with type of frustrations that I have been plagued with most recently.
I think I am just tired of being optimistic. Of hoping that I can get this right. It just sounds easier to know for sure. Or maybe I am just tired because a girl on the street woke me up screaming at 3am.
For the record, I'd want to know if I was terminally ill too. Not that these two things are necessarily related.
I am off to NY tomorrow to visit Steph. I am sure I'll have plenty of fun Stephanie stories when I get back!