Monday, December 12, 2005

Next Stop: Sanitation Station

Some people are afraid of germs.

These are the ones who carry anti-bacterial lotion in their pockets, won't touch a thing in the bathroom and are often seen wiping off their phones with little alcohol pads in the morning. These people typically get worse when they travel. I am not this way. Germs don't really scare me. I'll drink out of your glass, sit my ass down on a public toilet as long as it looks dribble free (yes, sorry it's true), and will happily take a bite off your plate with your fork, as long as you permit me to and your dish looks tasty and there is no dairy in it. The only thing I am really wary of is street food, although I have more than a few friends who swear by their love of various kinds of meat-like products grilled up for you in almost any city street. But I digress.

I realize that not everyone is as carefree as I am. People, some of you have taken your germ conciousness too far.

For example, if you were to pick up this month's issue of Budget Traveler and turn to page 41, you would see a write up on the following travel accessories:

1) An airplane seat "SeatWrap" ($6.85 - $9.85). This is actually a cover for your airline chair. It comes in seat-back only, or full on chair.


SeatWrap protects you and your clothing from unsanitary airplane seats. Ultra-compact SeatWrap is made of lightweight polypropylene with an anti-microbial coating. It secures to your airplane seat with elastic to put a layer of sanitary fabric between you and germs. Standard size covers the seat back.

It makes me think, what are other travelers doing in their plane seats to make them so unsanitary to begin with? Now if people were sitting their bare asses on them, that would be one thing. But come on.

2) PlaneWrap Feet Wrap ($9.85):

These are little paper slippers to put on so that your feet don't touch the ground after you take your shoes off to go through the X-Ray in security.

"Take your shoes off. Move along, please.” Mandatory shoe removal at airport security shouldn’t expose your feet (and the inside of your shoes) to dirt, germs or fungi. Just place your shoes in a security tub, and slip into a pair of disposable Feetwrap™ to get the personal protection you’ll need. After you pass inspection, move away from the security area, dispose of Feetwrap, and slip back into your shoes. Great for use in hotels, too! 10 pairs per order.

The "personal protection you'll need"? One word, people: SOCKS.

3) The Travel Washjet ($133):

This is too much.

From the office to the airplane, you can enjoy the luxury of warm water cleansing at the push of a button.

Yes, this is a portable travel-sized bidet. Can you believe it? I mean, Can You Believe It?? There is even a short streaming (no pun intended) video on the site showing how one can use it, which I highly recommend for you to watch. The Washjet conveniently comes in pink or blue. Great to have in your suitcase just in case you feel the need to rinse your butt.

Look how pretty it is!

4) This wasn't in the article, but I found it during my search for this posting and had to share it. Have a look:
Restop 1 and 2 are the world's most portable toilets. Great insurance for those "can't wait" emergencies, their biodegradable blend of polymers breaks down waste in its sturdy zip top bag and turns it into a gel. Restop 1 (for urine) is splash- proof and spill-resistant. Safe to dispose of in any trash container. Includes instructions, tissues and antiseptic wipes. Four per order.

In case you were wondering, Restop 1 is for when you have to go "#1". And Restop 2 is for when you have to go #2. Clever, huh? They thoughtfully include TP and instructions in the bag. Actually, that might come in handy. Especially if I decide to venture into the very scary world of street foods.

Finally, aren't there things you just don't want to know about? Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. You will not find this little item on my Christmas list this year, that's for sure:


What is this, you ask? They call it "The Hotel Room Inspector":

Has your hotel room really been “sanitized for your protection?” Just darken the room and flip the switch on the Hotel Room Inspector to find out. This lightweight device uses ultra-violet light to detect contamination on bed and bath linens, carpets, countertops, toilet seats, or anywhere. Also includes a handy built-in flashlight. Takes four AA batteries. Measures 6½ x 2 x 1”. (3 oz)

Ew. Thanks, but no thanks.

2 comments:

haji-o-matic said...

Try the toilets here in Afdirtistan..they will make you go screamin into the night.
That "inspection" light is just a UV bulb (like htey use at halloween. It will reflect salts etc. I use it to detect cat/dog unrine in my carpet cleaning business. DO NOT use in ANY bathroom.
I'm just sayin is all.....

laurie said...

That light? It makes me scared. because I know how I am with the germs I only IMAGINE... so clearly being able to SEE areas of contamination would send me over the deep end and I would have eleventeen inch fingernails and live inside a plastic bubble.

The plastic bubble part sounds good, though. Right? Kind of?