Just when you thought TV couldn't get worse...

While waiting for my favorite show, Project Runway, to begin I got caught up in this new show (on FOX of course) called The Moment of Truth. Which they say like THE! MOMENT! OF! TRUTH!

This is America's weirdness at it's best....err, I mean worst.

Here's the deal. The "contestant" had to answer 21 increasingly embarrassing and revealing questions which are compared to an earlier polygraph test. If the contestant tells the truth, they get closer and closer to winning $500,000.

The questions aren't like, "Do you pick your nose when no one is looking?" But rather, here are some of the sample questions, which people WILLINGLY answer on national TV.

- Do you really love your wife/girlfriend?
- Did you help a friend to illeaglly smuggle something into this country?
- Do you see yourself being married to your wife in 5 years?
- Is the reason you haven't had children yet because you are not sure your wife will be a good mother?
- Did you ever stuff your pants to look more endowed?
- Have you stolen money from a job and let someone else take the blame?

And more often than not, the answer is not pretty... and a support team of 3 (usually spouse, boss, friend) sit near by on the support team bench waiting anxiously for each answer. Before the contestant quits, one or all are seen crying from the sidelines.

But I don't get this one part: since the contestants ALREADY took the lie detector test prior to the show, they KNOW what questions will be asked of them on the show. Why do they look so surprised when the tough ones come up?

The "good" news is that this show isn't only America's shame, but it is produced in 23 other countries, including Columbia, where the show was created. However, they have had to cancel the Columbian edition due to the embarrassing tidbit one contestant admitted to: hiring a hit man to kill her husband. Owning up to that little secret won her $25,000.

So, sure, you can win some cash. But at what cost? Certainly afterwards you will lose your friends, spouse and job. And possibly in the case of the guy who admitted to smuggling... maybe some jail time will accompany his $100,000 purse.

O! Why Dost Thou Ellude Me O Sleep!

I can't sleep.

Try as I might, for several nights now I just lie awake, mind racing, heart racing, watching the minutes tick by on the clock, which now projects the time in big red numbers on the wall. This past night I woke at 2:22 a.m. and was wide awake until at least 5:52. Of course near the time I am supposed to get up for work, I finally fall into a light sleep.

I have a history of insomnia.

Some of my very first memories are of me standing at my bedroom window watching for the occasional car that would drive down our street. It seemed as though I would stand and watch for hours, but at that young age I don't think I had any accurate sense of time.

Around the age of 10, I went through a period of several months where anxiety would overcome me at night and fear would possess me over the idea that I was the only one in the world awake. And that one of the airplanes flying overhead on the way to DCA would explode and rain dead bodies on top of the house. I would wander the house from room to room not knowing what to do with myself. I would visit the bedrooms of my brother and sister and jealously sit on their floor as they slept soundly. I remember going to a sleepover at my friend Sarah's and making my parents come get me in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep and didn't know what to do in a strange house at night. It was during this period that I finally learned several tricks, some of which I still use today, to help me fall asleep.

As an adult I have pockets of sleeplessness, usually accompanied by some kind of stress. Some bouts last a while, a month or two at a time. Even though this particular pocket has been brief, just a couple of weeks, the period I am awake in the night is accompanied by a much stronger sense of anxiousness than in recent times.

The major problem here is that I cannot seem to get my brain to shut the heck up. It takes me on a rollercoaster ride of all kinds of thoughts, images and problem solving. Something like this:

Oh shit, I woke up. Not good. Maybe if I just go pee and come back I will fall back asleep as if I never work up.
I go pee.

OK, time to go back to sleep now. I wonder what I should do about xx work problem. Is it as bad as I think? I really need to get that taken care of tomorrow and stop stalling on it. Really, enough is enough. If I don't do something about it, it is just going to get worse and then I will be in deep doo-doo. Crap. I am still awake. Why can't I sleep? 20 minutes have passed. It's OK. If I fall asleep now, I will still get 4 hours of sleep. That's enough to function. Right? OK, now an hour has passed and I am still awake. Thats not good. I am going to wake up tired and cranky and I have to get on the train and get into the city and shit I have to work late tomorrow because I have an event to go to and I am still awake. I wonder which would have a bigger historical and cultural impact, if an African-American man or a white woman were elected president? Should I really vote for Barak? When is super-Tuesday? Oh, that's just a few days away should I vote in the city or in Rockville Centre? Am I allowed to vote in the city if I am registered in Nassau County? I need to remember to look that up tomorrow. And while I am at it I really need to look up the number for my dentist and set up that appointment now that i have insurance again. Oh, and I have to check to see if Damir made his dentist appointment since I know he has a lot more work on those cavities. He's so cute sleeping next to me. Sleep. Why aren't I sleeping? Oh god. I have to be up soon and I am going to be so tired. I am fucked.

As you can guess, this churns on and on until daylight breaks. Most of the tricks I learned as a kid involve getting the brain off this endless track of nonsense. Kind of like counting sheep, but not really. But for some reason, that's just not working for me anymore. It's, to say the least, incredibly frustrating.

It's My Birthday Y'all!

Well, this year's celebration is going to be decidedly LOW KEY. I am still feeling the lasting effects of the FLU, or whatever plague has taken up residence in my lungs for the past 7 days. And now, Damir is sick too and definitely not up to pampering me in my usual princess-birthday style. Though I have to say he has taken excellent care of me these last few days. My team wanted to get me a cake, but I have decided that we can postpone my official birthday grandiosity until next week when I can actually enjoy, or at least taste, the cake. Sweet, though, they offered me some birthday soup instead and got me not just a birthday card, but a Get Well card too.

So no big birthday shenanigans planned for the big THREE FOUR. And for once in my life, I think I am pretty OK with that. But next year... WATCH OUT. I will make up for it in style.

La Gram

Today is my Gram's 90th Birthday. 90! Hot Damn!

An Early Birthday Present...

For a couple of years now, I have been in the market for a new printer. More specifically: a decent photo printer with a good scanner and reasonably affordable individually cased ink cartridges so that when I run out of cyan, I only have to buy a cyan and not a whole new tank when I have plenty of magenta left . Oh, and the scanner has to be able to scan directly from photo negatives and slides, preferably at least 6 at a time. Picky? Just a little.

Well, finally today I bit the bullet and decided on the Cannon MP970. First tests seems to be good, and a heck of a lot more sophisticated than the free printer I got when I bought my Dell laptop. I have thousands of negatives to go through now, stemming all the back from my first years as a photo enthusiast back in middle school. Check out this photo scanned directly from the negative:

Lots to be upoaded to flickr in the coming weeks!

Glassbooth: Which Presidential Candidate Represents You best?

Glassbooth.org is a non-profit and non-partisan organization that disseminates political information. They have a quiz on their site which helps you, after answering some questions, identify which Presidential candidate best represents your views. I took the quiz tonight and was actually pretty surprised.

My Top 5 Results:

Dennis Kucinich - 89%
Mike Gravel - 88% (shocking! Isn't he kind of insane?)
John Edwards - 80%
Barak Obama - 79%
Hillary Clinton - 75%

My Low 5 Results:

John McCain - 38% (this also was surprising for some reason)
Rudy Giuliani - 42%
Mike Huckabee - 44%
Mitt Romney - 45%
Ron Paul - 55%


There was a similar quiz circulating in 2004 that seemed to be a bit more conclusive, it had many more questions, and more specific issues of debate represented. Sadly, however, it appears to be gone. It would be interesting to take quizzes built by other organizations to see how similar of a result you find. If you see any, send them my way.

I guess I am just excited to know that at this exact time next year we will be just a few short hours from seeing GWB departing office. His last day: January 20, 2009.

In related news: I received my NY voter registration card in the mail today. Yay! Bring it on Super Tuesday!

The Outlook is Clear

I am very excited about 2008. I think it's going to be one of these years I will look back on in like 2044 and muse to myself, "2008 was a f*cking fantastic year". Yes, I plan to do a LOT of cursing in my old age. Why? Because you can. Who will tell you not to? And, for the record, I plan on grabbing lots of butts.

So anyway, why am I so excited about 2008? Well, for starters, this is the first year for me when a BUNCH of friends are getting married. This is a great excuse to travel, celebrate love and devotion with far away friends and spread good cheer. I just made my hotel reservations for Ashbloem's wedding in Dallas in May and I am already chomping at the bit to get going.

And in addition, have I mentioned lately that I am crazy in love with the man in my life? He is perhaps the most generous and loving person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. It's true, we struggle financially and have the whole "family stuff" to contend with, but I see those as temporary issues. We laugh, we fight, we hug strongly and kiss passionately. I am so thankful to have him by my side. The rest is just static.

It's also a great time to be in the Interravision family, exciting projects, plans and new ventures are underfoot for everyone related to me. My father and step-mom's recent retirement and exciting travel plans; my sister's new career as an acupuncturist and shiny new marriage; my mom's adventures in like, lust and love and finding her new calling; my step-sister's completion of her PhD and starting a new job in a new city; my brother and sister-in-law's booming new company and watching their two gorgeous little girls grow and blossom. Though far away, I hope that my unconditional love and support is tangible for each.

I have to mention work as well. Yes, I made some pretty significant sacrifices to work at this company, mostly being felt in my wallet. But, I love the people I work with and I really enjoy the work I am doing. Being part of a small company, I really do feel that my effort to advance the success of our venture is relevant. That's pretty exciting. Plus, since I do tend to wear many hats here (part sales manager, financier, concierge, HR coordinator, copy writer, semi-graphic designer, meeting planner and gal-Friday extrodinaire), I am definitely never bored.

So, all in all, 2008 is shaping up to be a pretty eventful year and I, for one, can't wait to see it all unfold.

Celebrataciousness

I send out big hugs and kisses of celebration to my two favorite newly engaged friends...

The first happy couple is Stephanie and Anthony, who have had the most incredible courtship ever... starting on a Greek Cruise, and spanning at least three continents, Europe, Australia and the US. Her leap of faith to be with this warm hearted man has already been well documented on Interravision: here. Though I just recently learned of their Christmas Eve engagement, I am already getting excited for their wedding... I know it will be a blast, the question is: in which country will it take place? Auguri!

And also I am thrilled to send out big felicidades to David J. and Nancy. At the very least, I am happy that this will put an end to my friend David's frequent complaining about the lack of good women out there. And by "good" he means one who will climb mountains, don cramp-ons (whatever those are), scuba in crazy places, and follow him (or better: lead him) on one crazy expedition after another (word is they are heading on a 6000 mile journey by train across the Gobi Desert). I've only met Nancy briefly, but I know for certain they are a match made for each other.

Horray for love!