Holy Liberace on a bicycle. I know its soooo boring to blog about the weather. Again. But it's hot. REALLY HOT. I don't like hot. I really don't. BUT at least it isn't raining, right at this moment anyway.
How boring am I when all I blog about is the weather?
What else? Let's see. I think I have a few things to tell you.
I was thinking back to something that happened over the winter and thought, "wow, was that really me??" And the more I thought about last winter, and the crazy thoughts that went through my head, the more I am convinced I was taken over ala` John Malkovitch in Being John Malkovitch. I won't go into details about who I think it was inhabiting my brain, but I can tell you this: it wasn't me. And she was a little nutty. In a few ways I miss her, but mostly I don't.
Though in some ways things around me are much more chaos than this past winter, I feel as though I am standing on much more solid ground. That's good. So many things have changed so much over the past several months... it's amazing a life can be so different in such a short amount of time. Amazing and really wonderful.
Anyway. I am thinking about moving. Not the wistful, dreamy, kind of thinking of years past. REALLY THINKING. Sitting down, putting numbers to paper kind of thinking. Making plans kind of thinking. And if you couldn't guess already, it appears that NYC will be my next home. That might sound rash or crazy to some of you. And maybe it is, but strangely it doesn't feel that way to me. It feels like... the right thing to do. What do I have to lose?
I am not thinking of moving in with my sweetheart, that would be a little too much all at once. Although if he had his way, I would just pack all my stuff, head down there and move right on in to his place tomorrow. But you know, the parents issue is there, which is a bit tricky. So, instead I am thinking about moving within an easy traveling distance that does not require the purchase of a ticket more than a subway ride would cost. I have taken a liking to the area of Long Beach, wouldn't it be so great to live near/on the ocean and still be within commuting distance to Manhattan? I am going to go look at some apartments soon. Yes, I am that serious about it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
All I know is this, my heart breaks a little each time he gets on that airplane, or I get on that train, back to our respective states. I want more. I want the mundane of the everyday.