Yes, my adorable and talented big sister. Sure, she looks innocent, but it's all her fault that I am cursed on Valentine's Day.
This is how it went down:
When I was in the 6th grade Erin worked for a Hallmark store called the Curiosity Shop. I had the BIGGEST CRUSH EVER on a boy named Brian Eisert*. Erin thought it would be just so much fun if I prepared a secret admirer present for Brian for Valentine's Day. The Curiosity Shop, ehm, donated, a few items for my gift including a card, little white stuffed teddybear, and some candy. Erin and I devised a very solid plan, Bond worthy in fact, for me to sneak into the cloak room during lunch and put the gifts of love into Brian's backpack. Easy, right?
Well, I guess as a 6th grader I wasn't so stealth-savvy and I got caught. Worse than that, I got caught by my arch-nemisis Jon Soloman**. Jon just loved loved loved to tease me and did so at every opportunity. Nothing was sacred. He roasted me on this. He may have well tied me to a stake in the middle of the playground and pelted me with rancid cheese.
I was ashamed.
I was mortified.
I was 12.
I blamed Erin for putting me up to it, and still do to this day.
Since then I can't really remember a happy-go-lucky-in-love Valentine's Day. It just never works out like I plan.
The last time I attempted to celebrate it properly was in Amsterdam with Matthijs. I was giddy in love and wanted to celebrate it, even though I knew that he was very against the whole notion of Valentine's and had absolutely no intention of recognizing the holiday in any way. I tried to make the evening special. At first I tried to play it off like it was just another day. I came over to his house after work and cooked a normal dinner. Unbeknownst to him, I had purchased a beautiful chocolate creation for dessert. Yes, it was in the shape of a heart. Yes, I think there was some silly professions of love and heart-ness on it. I admit to you, yes, I am a big sap. A big romantic sap.
The thing was, I had purchased the chocolate creation at lunch time and left it in my office for the duration of the afternoon until I biked over to his house that evening. Silly me... my office was a disaster and I just put it down where it would go...not even thinking that putting a chocolate creation on top of a radiator was a bad idea. Let me tell you now, putting a beautiful hearty chocolate creation on top of a radiator is a bad idea. Just in case you didn't know.
Well, after dinner came and I opened the box of the chocolate creation with great anticipation and glee only to find it one brown blobby mess resembling more a pile of poo than anything else. Oh, the let down! Oh, the sorrow! He thought it was hysterical.
*Hi Brian! I still love you after all these years! (Just in case you google yourself and find this story)
**Screw You Jon, I'll never forgive you for being such a jerk growing up (Just in case you google yourself and find this story)