My new part-time job

No kidding, I was head-hunted to be an escort. No, really. I am not joking. Stop laughing.

This is the job offer:

$$$$Party Escort & Entertainment$$$$
With us you are guaranteed all the assurance, security, and financial stability of an upscale agency without ever having to sacrifice the self-sufficiency of working independently.
We are a referral based service, directing our “A-list” of existing clients to independent and non-pro escorts. (Essentially we work for you). Our newsprint, online and web-site advertising (With photos) will provide you with the necessary exposure needed to become successful in this business. We provide competitive wages along with security, booking, supplied transportation, and a Nextel direct connect cellphone. (See below for rate breakdown)

These rates are starting rates. Increases will depend on a girl’s performance and service.
$150.00 per Hour (For the first hour)
($75.00 for an additional ½ Hour)
$300.00 per 2-1/2 Hours
$550.00 per 5 Hours

Now, come on. REALLY. My first thought was... $150 an hour to be a scintillating conversationalist and dinner partner for a lonely businessman??!! I am worth WAY more than that. My second thought was....hmmm, what does "performance and service" entail? Yeah, maybe not.

But hey- did you see a Nextel direct connect cellphone is included? Right on! Sign me up!

(kidding, Mom. I would never do that. At least not for $150.00).