I am So. Sorry.

Dudes. Here's my problem.

I don't know what to say lately! In recent weeks my life is being dominated by work. When not at work, I am doing research for the "BIG W", set for May 2010 or a possible honeymoon. When not at work or doing research, I am thinking about the gym, at the gym, or trying not to eat constantly. When not at work, doing research or thinking about my waistline, I am trying to sleep. Usually not successfully since I am thinking about all that other stuff. That leaves me little time to entertain you with my witty observances.

If it helps ease the pain of my absence: I miss you. I really do. It's not you, it's me.

I just don't want to bore you with rant after rave after rant about the ridicutrocities of wedding planning. It's my own choice to put myself through this maddening process, so I have no right to complain, nor have I gotten to the part of planning that's good yet (god, I hope there are good parts down the line) and worthy of our conversation. Right now I am in the stage which I call, "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S WHAT THAT COSTS? FOR REAL?" It's not the most fun stage of event planning.

But, trust me when I tell you there is very good stuff on my horizon. Interesting stuff too. I promise. Here is a little tid bit in the meantime. I went to Boston recently to see my sister who is nearing the completion of her pregnancy with twins. How cute is she?


Oh, and I will also leave you this nugget. First, you know I love babies with wigs. Cute! But what's possibly even cuter? Doggies with wigs. Check it out from my favorite pet store, Trixie + Peanut:

Who can't love that?

One step forward...but...

Damir and I went down to beautiful Delray Beach, Florida this past weekend to check out potential wedding venues. We were so grateful that my parents could also meet us down there and help lend us some moral support-- I am not sure we could have done it without them!

The good news is: we found a place we both really liked! Tropical, unique, interesting, yet close to bars, restaurants, airports and a great beach not too far away. Perfect! We haven't signed the bottom line yet, so definitely it isn't a done deal yet. But at least we both could agree that we liked the venue and the location!


Delray Beach is a funky little town that we really enjoyed. Situated between Fort Lauderdale and Palm Beach, it has a funny mix of culture and style. Great for people watching! A bevy of restaurants, bars and boutiques to choose from, and a certain old-Florida style that I like. There is a free shuttle bus that goes up and down main street and to the beach. People were all incredibly friendly, and we ate some really great food!

There are, unfortunately, a few logistical problems we have to tackle about the reception space. We need to come to terms with what is realistic, and not throw our budget out the window. Tricky since of course I want everything that I want and it will be tough to scale back and not go into oodles of debt. We have a good chunk of time to plan, but these first big decisions are the most tricky. I can't wait to get to the fun part of planning!

Obstacles.

For some reason I was under the impression that planning a wedding should be a joyous and fun process. After all, I love to plan stuff. And this is supposed to be a happy thing, bring family and friends together in celebration of love and stuff. But this wedding shit sucks. It really really really sucks. At every turn there seems to be a looming obstacle, and I find we are getting farther and farther (or is it further and further? whatever.) away from the original vision. And the cost! Jesus Christ on a triscuit. With each decision made, we have to undo two others.

I am just frustrated with this.

New Friend!

It goes without saying that making friends as an adult, especially in suburban America, is not as easy as one would think. At least that's the case for me. Since moving here to Long Island, I have made one new good friend, and I consider that quite the accomplishment, especially since we weren't introduced by other people or some other easy path to aquaintancy (I made that word up). I met Michelle on the commuter train we both take to Manhattan every day around the same time. It was a slow courtship, I didn't want to scare her off. But now, I think we are on solid friend territory. We do things together like take coooking classes and watch award shows, which surely constitutes a friendship.

For some months Michelle and I have noticed another woman that we think we would like to add to our train friendship. Often we sit near her, and she is always dressed in something fabulous, and can really carry some good accessories. I particularly covet a beautiful ring she has of polished pink quartz set in a chunky silver band. I first noticed her because of that ring and the distinct feeling I wanted to rip it off her finger for myself. You could say it was love at first sight.

There are two rows of chairs in every train car that face each other, perfect for conversation, and often Michelle and I find ourselves sitting across from the fabulous woman. And this past week it happened: we talked to her. Her name is Paulina, she is roughly our age (mid-late 30s), originally from Ecuador, and living on Long Island since she was a teenager. Full of energy and fun to talk to-- I think I am on the road to having a second friend here. Sweet! Getting from casual train-appropriate small talk to that first "friend date" is so tenuous, though. I don't want to just blurt out, heyyouwannahavebrunchwithmethisweekend? In some kind of desperation. She is cool, well traveled, and sophisticated. I gotta time it just right.

My Love/Hate Relationship with New York City.

On the topic of New York City.

It has been 2.5 years since I moved to New York to be with Damir. I can hardly believe it! It all is passing so quickly... I also can't believe I am now 35, didn't I JUST turn 30? But that's a topic for another day.

I can't decide if I like New York. I think this is odd because most people I know either LOVE LOVE LOVE it or HATE HATE HATE it. I am somewhere in the middle.

Some mornings, crossing through Times Square on my way to the office, I feel a jolt of energy with all the lights, activity and energy. The Square isn't usually yet crowded with tourists, just busy New Yorkers going from here to there. I usually have my ipod blaring something to get my blood flowing, and I just feel good.

The evenings, crossing Times Square to go home, are a little different. The sidewalks are packed with slow-walkers, and now it is dark, and I am usually in a rush to catch my train. My thought is: I just want to get out of here.

I sometimes stay in the city after work and on weekends to actually enjoy the city, but not nearly as much as I should. I have always been a bit of a homebody in that way. Our little hamlet here in Long Island is growing on me, and already I am looking forward to a summer spent on the very nice beaches we have out here. I will take the beach over the crowded streets on any day. Though usually after I spend extra time just enjoying the city, I usually think, that was nice.

Damir and I sometimes talk about moving into the city. 2 Years ago, just after arriving in Long Island, I would have jumped at the chance. And today, I probably would too, though I would miss my favorite Sushi place around the corner, and my dry cleaner, nail technician, coffee server, and pharmacist who all know me by name.

What I really hate about New York is this attitude that many New Yorkers have that THIS IS THE BEST AND ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD WORTH LIVING AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I want to respond, well, yes, it's got a lot going for it, but you need to get out every once in a while. See some other places. Live in some other places. You might be surprised. That snobbery just turns me off, as does just about anyone who thinks they are holding the best in their hand and nothing else could ever compare. EVER.

Oh, and the cost of stuff. I hate that too.

I never wanted to live in New York. I always said that. And its still funny to me that it's where I have ended up for now. I don't see us staying here indefinitely, but for the forseeable future, this is where we are and I have to make the best of it. But I know that years down the road, from the porch of my beautiful and cozy home with a view of the water, I will be glad for the experience.

The Curse is Over.

The curse is over.

No, I am not talking about the curse of the Bambino this time, though I am getting excited over Red Sox baseball already. This time I am referring to my Valentine's Day Curse. On this day back in 2006 I revealed the story of my 6th-grade-valentines-surprise-gone-wrong, and how ever since, Valentine's day just didn't work for me. I was cursed.

But I have to tell you, I think this curse has been lifted. And I am convinced it was the telling of this story to the Blogosphere that did the trick.

You see, in that 2006 post, I had added a foot note which read:

*Hi Brian! I still love you after all these years! (Just in case you google yourself and find this story)
**Screw You Jon, I'll never forgive you for being such a jerk growing up (Just in case you google yourself and find this story)

Guess what: Brian did google himself late last summer and found the blog and then friended me on Facebook and has actually wished ME a happy valentines day, 23 years to the day since that sad, awful, and embarassing day. So I declare: VINDICATION!

Plus, it should be mentioned that just a few weeks after my 2006 telling of the story, I met my soon-t0-be husband while visiting Stephanie in Long Island. And now we're celebrating our 3rd Valentine's day together, and I couldn't be happier. So I proclaim, my Valentine's Day curse is officially lifted. Thanks blogosphere!

I hope I didn't just jinx myself!

Wedding Woes

Have you ever done so much research on something that you got lost within the results and bored yourself into some kind of catatonic zombie state leaving you unable to make a decision?

Yeah. That's me right about now.

Let me tell you the places I have researched for a wedding (this might take a while):

Mayan Riviera
Cabo San Lucas
Merida (Mexico)
Key West
Key Largo
Islamorada
Jamaica
Bahamas
Bermuda
Barbados
St. Thomas
St. John
Turks & Caicos
Aruba
St. Lucia
Sanibel
Marco Island
Captiva Island
Key Biscayne
Miami
Delray Beach
West Palm Beach
Amelia Island
St. Augustine
New Orleans
Charleston
Savannah
Outter Banks
Asheville
San Juan (PR)
Vieques (PR)
Ponce (PR)
Rincon (PR)
Dorado (PR)
Fajardo (PR)
Virginia Beach
Cape Cod
Nantucket
Shelter Island
Block Island
Berkshires
Fire Island
Finger Lakes
Adirondacks
Newport, RI
Coastal Connecticut
Chesapeake Bay Area
Portsmouth, NH
Portland, ME
Venice
Montenegro
Greece
Oh, and of course NYC

Whew. I've looked at B&Bs, house rentals, resorts, compounds, hotels, boats, restaurants, reception halls, yacht clubs, golf clubs, museums, galleries, national parks and inns. Nothing yet has grabbed me and said, "PICK ME! THIS is where you are supposed to get married!"

Finally I have enlisted my parents to start looking for me. I can't take it anymore. Why am I making this so hard? I am about to just get the $25 permit for Central Park and be done with it.