Just Weight

My friends.

Last night I went to my first weightwatchers meeting since August 9th. More than 2 months! The results? Well, lets just say that I definitely needed to be back there. No, OK. Let me be more honest here. I gained back everything that I had lost...plus a couple extra.

I knew it was bad...I didn't know it was that bad.

I came home and burst into tears. All that hard work erased like it never happened!! I only have myself to blame. BUT, today is a new day and choices are still mine to make. As my dad signs off every email "Nothing is settled. Everything matters" (an unknown quote).

Float On

I have now come to the realization again that I don't have a job again. It is hard to get passed that and jump head first into the job pool again. Nothing looks remotely interesting. However, I am still excited about finding the website Indeed.com. This site rocks! Just plug in some keywords and your zipcode and this site does a full search for you: newspapers, job boards (like Monster, Hotjobs and Career Builder, and even Craigslist. They also search smaller, lesser known sites. It makes the job search so much easier. Great idea!

My brain is bored. And when bored, I eat. I had abandoned Weightwatchers while navigating this adjustment, and definitely can tell that I have gained back most of what I lost. It is with a lot of shame I admit that here, but it is the truth. It's too easy to snack all day long when you aren't working. And now having a car, I am doing much less random physical activity. I have another 100 or so excuses as to why I have gained back the weight, but I won't bore you (or me for fear of repurcussions mentioned above) with additional details.

BUT I have found a place nearby where I can get back on the wagon. I am going this afternoon. I am terrified of meeting the scale and finding out how much my downslide really has cost me. But yes! I will face the enemy!

But you know what? I am still giddy with happiness, despite my waistline and unemployment. I feel better than I have in ages. I am even starting to like daytime TV!

Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

Hair Today on Vimeo

ESB

Tonight Damir and I are going to see the Empire State Building. Shockingly, neither of us has ever been before. I feel like a litte kid, I am so excited!

One thing I have not been doing lately is taking enough pictures. I used to always have my camera stashed in my purse, but now couldn't even tell you exactly where it is. Shame! I will definitely take a bunch of pictures tonight.

Easy Come, Easy to Let Go

I quit my job today.

Thanks to everyone who sent encouraging text messages, emails and comments here on the blog. It was the right thing to do. A little rash maybe, but I know I would never have been truly happy there. Why waste time running in place?

I feel nervous about what is to come next, but feel pretty good that it was the right decision.

*sigh.

Is it so much to ask to find a job that I will actually want to get up for every day? Or at least some days?

Prison Break.

I can't take it.

This work place is simply ridiculous on so many fronts. First, essentially no permitted contact with the outside world. No external email, no internet access, and no personal phone calls. That combined with no windows... it really is a prison!

How about this for ridiculous:

I report to the CEO, Mr. Herman. The person responsible for training me, Myra, just happens to be his wife. But, she also refers to him as "Mr. Herman". For example:

Me: Myra, those are beautiful pictures of a baby on your cubicle.
Myra: That's Daisy, Mr. Herman's grandaughter.

huh?

I can't imagine being 65 working in a cubicle refering to my husband (in his own windowless horribly decorated office) as Mr. So and So. She surfs the internet all day. She has internet. Being the boss' wife has priveledges. Except you can't call him by his first name in front of the plebs.

A woman scowled at me yesterday for failing to correctly transfer a call to her properly. Yes, an acutual SCOWL. Nevermind the fact that no one showed me how the phone (or fax or copier or wacky internal network or anything else) works.

No one talks to each other.
No one smiles.
No one looks like they are glad to be there.
The bathroom is grey too.

They introduced me en masse to the team yesterday. This is how it went:

Team Leader: Does anyone else have any searches today? No?
HR Manager: Oh, I forgot, I'd like to introduce our new Corporate Trainer. Everyone, this is Terra. She is our new Corporate Trainer.
(people politely smile without showing their teeth and a few limply wave)
Team Leader: Ok, welcome. Is that all?
HR Manager: Yes.

So I ask you this: what is the fastest you ever quit a job? How much notice do you think I need to give after 2 days of work?

Mr. Mr.

OK, so news:

I GOT A JOB.

A real job. Not walking dogs. Not doing makeovers for Mary Kay (a brief consideration). I am the new Corporate Trainer for a company in Manhattan, Times Square to be exact. I am replacing a woman who is having a baby. I did some training with her last week and start full time next week. With any job, there is good, bad, and ugly...

The Good:
My working hours are 9-5, an hour for lunch and from what they tell me, no required overtime or weekends. Ole`! Its amazing to me how much unpaid overtime I put in to my last job. I knew it was part of the deal, and didn't complain, but an a huge plus is knowing that with this job I will be heading home at 5pm every day.

I won't be managing staff in this job. I like managing staff, and in the past have had employees both love and hate me. It's such a rollercoaster, I am glad not to worry about it for a while.

Times Square Baby! I love the buzz.

I think that corporate training is a good career move for me, and something I might truly love. Getting my feet wet in this arena could lead to some great things down the line.

The Bad:
Well, the office itself is a dim, dark, grey place. I already mentioned this. No windows. No pretty offices. Cubicles. It is so dreary.

The commute. It could be worse, for sure, but still. To get to Times Square, I walk 3 blocks to the train station, take a 35 minute express train to Penn Station, and walk about 8 blocks (or take one subway stop) to Times Sq. I guess it's about an hour door to door. It isn't horrible, the train is peaceful and fast and you can always get a seat. Oh, but a 1 month pass costs like $200. Ouch.

The Ugly:
Man... the benefits are SOO bad. So. So. So. bad. No 401(k). No vacation the first year (although they said they would turn a blind eye for a few days). Restricted sick days. No tuition reimbursement, no donation matching. Oh, and they only pay about 1/3 of my insurance. Thats another couple of hundred out of my pocket each month. Oy.

The Weird:
OK, I can't get over this, really! I call my boss by his last name. Mister Herman (not his real name). Everyone calls him this. Yes, he is the founder and CEO of the firm, but still it kills me. I can't remember the last time I called someone I had a close working relationship with "Mister" or "Mrs". I want to laugh each time I say it, or hear someone else say it. "Good Morning Mr. Herman" "Oh, Mr. Herman will work with you on that project" (inside I say tee-heee-heee!)

It's a paycheck. I can always quit if I don't like it!