Open Letter: To All Mannequin Manufacturers

Dear Mannequin Manufacturer:

Hi.

I can understand adding the nipples to those lifeless bodies that showcase the fashion of the day behind large plate-glass windows. Nipples are cute, perky, and add some sexiness to the inanimate form. It makes the passer-by perhaps stop in front of the window and say, "hey! look at those boobies! Oh, and what a cute sweater, maybe I shall buy it and my boobies will look so pert!" I am sure that happens all the time. Plus, no one wants to have a mono-boob and the addition of the nips does indeed prevent this embarrassment.

But, I have to say that adding a well defined RIB CAGE on recent mannequins is not a wise choice on your behalf. In fact, I daresay that now you have gone too far. Visible ribs are totally gross, unsexy and unnecessary. Sure, maybe I wish that my rib cage were a little less "hidden" beneath my internal layers of...um... "insulation". But this rant is not coming from a point of jealousy. Really, I mean it. It comes from a point of caring. Maybe, instead of parading a troupe of emaciated waifs on your pedestal, you could try experimenting with a variety of body shapes. *Sigh. I know that will never happen in today's "anorexia gloriosa" culture. But know this: instead of looking at said mannequin and thinking, "Oh, cute! I want that!" I think "Man, get that girl a sandwich STAT." And I keep on walking. Thankfully, I know that the mannequin will not follow me.

Happy New Year.

Love,

Interravision.

P.S.: Loved Kim Cattral in that movie you made. You should make more who look like her. For real.