Holy Liberace on a bicycle. I know its soooo boring to blog about the weather. Again. But it's hot. REALLY HOT. I don't like hot. I really don't. BUT at least it isn't raining, right at this moment anyway.
How boring am I when all I blog about is the weather?
What else? Let's see. I think I have a few things to tell you.
I was thinking back to something that happened over the winter and thought, "wow, was that really me??" And the more I thought about last winter, and the crazy thoughts that went through my head, the more I am convinced I was taken over ala` John Malkovitch in Being John Malkovitch. I won't go into details about who I think it was inhabiting my brain, but I can tell you this: it wasn't me. And she was a little nutty. In a few ways I miss her, but mostly I don't.
Though in some ways things around me are much more chaos than this past winter, I feel as though I am standing on much more solid ground. That's good. So many things have changed so much over the past several months... it's amazing a life can be so different in such a short amount of time. Amazing and really wonderful.
Anyway. I am thinking about moving. Not the wistful, dreamy, kind of thinking of years past. REALLY THINKING. Sitting down, putting numbers to paper kind of thinking. Making plans kind of thinking. And if you couldn't guess already, it appears that NYC will be my next home. That might sound rash or crazy to some of you. And maybe it is, but strangely it doesn't feel that way to me. It feels like... the right thing to do. What do I have to lose?
I am not thinking of moving in with my sweetheart, that would be a little too much all at once. Although if he had his way, I would just pack all my stuff, head down there and move right on in to his place tomorrow. But you know, the parents issue is there, which is a bit tricky. So, instead I am thinking about moving within an easy traveling distance that does not require the purchase of a ticket more than a subway ride would cost. I have taken a liking to the area of Long Beach, wouldn't it be so great to live near/on the ocean and still be within commuting distance to Manhattan? I am going to go look at some apartments soon. Yes, I am that serious about it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
All I know is this, my heart breaks a little each time he gets on that airplane, or I get on that train, back to our respective states. I want more. I want the mundane of the everyday.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Vice President of Fairies
Yes, that is me. The VP of fairies. Let's back up. Tarantino style.
I spent the last 2 weekends down on Long Island....ahhhhh Long Island...which really isn't as bad as I first thought. Or maybe I am just getting used to it all. The beaches are sorta nice, and there are some very good restaurants around. Very good in fact.
It isn't easy to be the only person in the room who doesn't speak the primary language of the others around you. It is rather isolating, and an odd sensation to feel alone in the middle of a crowd. But strangely, over the past 30-odd years I have encountered this very scenario time and time again. I will never forget sitting at Franco's mother's dinner table feeling nervous and out of place while she watched me with the eagle eye of a mamma bear protecting her cub from a predator. No, she didn't care for me much so it is just as well that I could never understand what she said to (about) me.
It's funny to think back to the four years spent in Amsterdam where I barely could string 3 Dutch sentences sucessfully together. Rarely was it a problem or an obstacle. But often I was out and about not understanding the majority of words passing over my head. You sort of forget and tune out after a while, I guess. You forget how fun it is to overhear snippets of other people's conversations.
This is my strategy:
1) Learn enough vocabulary in the foreign language to know at least what is being talked about. You might not know in what context or reference, but having some sense of recognition of what is being talked about is reassuring. At least you know they aren't talking about you. Well, maybe.
Example: last weekend I caught the following words while attempting to follow a conversation taking place around me:
Jorge = Jorge (that one was easy)
Pivo = beer
plage = beach
So, genius that I am, gets that they're talking about Jorge on the beach drinking beer. I don't know if they were saying he drank too much, or liked the brand, or got sick later and died, but they definitely weren't saying:
Terra
Horrible
American
That's good. But then again, I don't know the words for "Horrible American" so I could be wrong.
2) Try to find at least 2 people who can talk to you. This often isn't possible, so you are stuck trying to look no-so-stupid, or not-so-bored. Luckily I always have one, Damir, but finding a second so I don't have to purely rely on him, and he doesn't feel like my babysitter or personal translator, can be a challenge.
Thank god for Selma.
Selma is the daughter of one of Damir's uncles or cousins, I couldn't follow which. She's five and bless her for speaking lots of english with me. The other night she latched right on to me as soon as she found out that swans are my favorite birds. She and I sat in a corner of the big leather sofa, surrounded by family, talking about birds, fairies, the color pink, what food she likes to eat, what school is like, and a host of other topics. We decided, since she owns purple wings, that she should be elected President of All Fairies, and that I, not having my own set of wings (but can borrow her pink ones) would be Vice President. Damir is not allowed to hold an office in the fairy cabinet because he is a boy, and boys can't be fairies. It's the law and everyone knows it.
I promised Selma to come visit and spend the night sometime. She's going to see that her mom makes some lasagna.
Thank heaven for little girls.
I spent the last 2 weekends down on Long Island....ahhhhh Long Island...which really isn't as bad as I first thought. Or maybe I am just getting used to it all. The beaches are sorta nice, and there are some very good restaurants around. Very good in fact.
It isn't easy to be the only person in the room who doesn't speak the primary language of the others around you. It is rather isolating, and an odd sensation to feel alone in the middle of a crowd. But strangely, over the past 30-odd years I have encountered this very scenario time and time again. I will never forget sitting at Franco's mother's dinner table feeling nervous and out of place while she watched me with the eagle eye of a mamma bear protecting her cub from a predator. No, she didn't care for me much so it is just as well that I could never understand what she said to (about) me.
It's funny to think back to the four years spent in Amsterdam where I barely could string 3 Dutch sentences sucessfully together. Rarely was it a problem or an obstacle. But often I was out and about not understanding the majority of words passing over my head. You sort of forget and tune out after a while, I guess. You forget how fun it is to overhear snippets of other people's conversations.
This is my strategy:
1) Learn enough vocabulary in the foreign language to know at least what is being talked about. You might not know in what context or reference, but having some sense of recognition of what is being talked about is reassuring. At least you know they aren't talking about you. Well, maybe.
Example: last weekend I caught the following words while attempting to follow a conversation taking place around me:
Jorge = Jorge (that one was easy)
Pivo = beer
plage = beach
So, genius that I am, gets that they're talking about Jorge on the beach drinking beer. I don't know if they were saying he drank too much, or liked the brand, or got sick later and died, but they definitely weren't saying:
Terra
Horrible
American
That's good. But then again, I don't know the words for "Horrible American" so I could be wrong.
2) Try to find at least 2 people who can talk to you. This often isn't possible, so you are stuck trying to look no-so-stupid, or not-so-bored. Luckily I always have one, Damir, but finding a second so I don't have to purely rely on him, and he doesn't feel like my babysitter or personal translator, can be a challenge.
Thank god for Selma.
Selma is the daughter of one of Damir's uncles or cousins, I couldn't follow which. She's five and bless her for speaking lots of english with me. The other night she latched right on to me as soon as she found out that swans are my favorite birds. She and I sat in a corner of the big leather sofa, surrounded by family, talking about birds, fairies, the color pink, what food she likes to eat, what school is like, and a host of other topics. We decided, since she owns purple wings, that she should be elected President of All Fairies, and that I, not having my own set of wings (but can borrow her pink ones) would be Vice President. Damir is not allowed to hold an office in the fairy cabinet because he is a boy, and boys can't be fairies. It's the law and everyone knows it.
I promised Selma to come visit and spend the night sometime. She's going to see that her mom makes some lasagna.
Thank heaven for little girls.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Waiting on a Plane
My work week started auspiciously enough on Wednesday morning as I sat in stinky JFK airport waiting for my plane to take off for over two hours (due to terrible storms), next to a wailing baby. Ahh. What to do? There are no fun shops to browse, no CNN to steal my attention. I pulled out my laptop praying to the wireless gods for an internat connection, alas none was to be found. So I opened up my ITunes and started a "Waiting at JFK" playlist. This is what I chose:
1) Volare, Dean Martin
2) Stuck in a Moment, U2 (acoustic version)
3) Such Great Heights, Iron & Wine
4) Wait, Sarah McLachlan
5) Missing, Everything but the Girl
6) The Time is Now, Moloko
7) Spread Your Wings, Robbie Williams
8) Leaving on a Jet Plane, Bjork and PJ Harvey
9) Waiting for you, Seal
10) Waiting in Vain, Annie Lennox
11) Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper
12) Waiting for Tonight, J.Lo
13) Waiting on a Friend, Rolling Stones
14) Time, Sarah McLachlan
15) Standing Still, Jewel
16) Trip Through Your Wires, U2
17) Time for me to Fly, REO Speedwagon
18) Raining in Baltimore, Counting Crows
19) Learn to Fly, Foo Fighters
20) Marooned, Pink Floyd
Ha. That was fun.
1) Volare, Dean Martin
2) Stuck in a Moment, U2 (acoustic version)
3) Such Great Heights, Iron & Wine
4) Wait, Sarah McLachlan
5) Missing, Everything but the Girl
6) The Time is Now, Moloko
7) Spread Your Wings, Robbie Williams
8) Leaving on a Jet Plane, Bjork and PJ Harvey
9) Waiting for you, Seal
10) Waiting in Vain, Annie Lennox
11) Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper
12) Waiting for Tonight, J.Lo
13) Waiting on a Friend, Rolling Stones
14) Time, Sarah McLachlan
15) Standing Still, Jewel
16) Trip Through Your Wires, U2
17) Time for me to Fly, REO Speedwagon
18) Raining in Baltimore, Counting Crows
19) Learn to Fly, Foo Fighters
20) Marooned, Pink Floyd
Ha. That was fun.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wishful Sleeping
I can't sleep soundly anymore.
I wake up three, maybe four, times every night, and then always way before the alarm is set to go off. Is this my body and mind getting older? I heard that you need less sleep as you age. But I still NEED the sleep, I just can't "achieve" it. I wake up more and more tired as each day passes.
I would kill right now to have a cool breezy bedroom where the only sound is the lapping of waves on a soft sandy beach.
I need a vacation.
I wake up three, maybe four, times every night, and then always way before the alarm is set to go off. Is this my body and mind getting older? I heard that you need less sleep as you age. But I still NEED the sleep, I just can't "achieve" it. I wake up more and more tired as each day passes.
I would kill right now to have a cool breezy bedroom where the only sound is the lapping of waves on a soft sandy beach.
I need a vacation.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Get in the Know!
Do you know if your senators voted for the amendment to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States? Green states voted for the ammendment, red against, grey were even. For once I am happy to be in a red state.
Want to know more about how your senators are doing? Visit THIS SITE.
By 66 yeas to 34 nays (Vote No. 189), two-thirds of the Senators voting, a
quorum being present, not having voted in the affirmative, Senate failed to pass
S.J. Res. 12, proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States
authorizing Congress to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the
United States, agreeing to the committee amendment.
Want to know more about how your senators are doing? Visit THIS SITE.
Wednesday weigh-in
Yeah Yeah, I know. I am talking about losing weight again. Well, it's a big deal in a lot of ways to me. I LOVE FOOD. I do. I can't tell you how many dreams about EATING I have had in the past 2 months since I joined WW. LOTS. Although last night I dreamt I had to saw off Matthijs' leg. I don't know what that is supposed to mean. Eww.
But I digress.
I love to eat. Yes. I love to cook! But I don't really have a sweet tooth. Nothing makes me happier, seriously, than a big box of brownberry seasoned croutons. You can't even find this brand anymore, which is probably a good thing. Once the box is open, I cannot stop myself. It's such a strange craving, but I remember being about 6 years old at the pediatrician's office and he asked me, "What is your favorite food my dear?" (the first, perhaps, of many not-so-subtle conversations about my childhood weight issues). I happily responded, "Croutons!". He said, "No, I mean like a real food". I didn't get it. Croutons aren't real? They're THE BEST. Crunchy, salty with bits of garlic and italian seasonings. I liked the ones that still had a bit of crunchy crust on them. I think I would go so far as to lick the bag clean. That's sick, I know it. You have your own vices I am sure.
So anyway.
This week's weigh-in markes my 8th straight week of loss, totaling: 2.8 Pounds. Grand total loss:
14.6 Pounds.
Dude. That is nuts. Have you ever held 14.6 pounds in your hands? That's a lot of stuff. Where did it all go? Did it evaporate? I bet if I got a good haircut, it would push me over the 15lb mark. Haha. Just kidding.
When I hit the 20lb mark, I am partying like it's 1999. I might even accept Carrrrrrrmen's challenge to a dance-off. Might.
But I digress.
I love to eat. Yes. I love to cook! But I don't really have a sweet tooth. Nothing makes me happier, seriously, than a big box of brownberry seasoned croutons. You can't even find this brand anymore, which is probably a good thing. Once the box is open, I cannot stop myself. It's such a strange craving, but I remember being about 6 years old at the pediatrician's office and he asked me, "What is your favorite food my dear?" (the first, perhaps, of many not-so-subtle conversations about my childhood weight issues). I happily responded, "Croutons!". He said, "No, I mean like a real food". I didn't get it. Croutons aren't real? They're THE BEST. Crunchy, salty with bits of garlic and italian seasonings. I liked the ones that still had a bit of crunchy crust on them. I think I would go so far as to lick the bag clean. That's sick, I know it. You have your own vices I am sure.
So anyway.
This week's weigh-in markes my 8th straight week of loss, totaling: 2.8 Pounds. Grand total loss:
14.6 Pounds.
Dude. That is nuts. Have you ever held 14.6 pounds in your hands? That's a lot of stuff. Where did it all go? Did it evaporate? I bet if I got a good haircut, it would push me over the 15lb mark. Haha. Just kidding.
When I hit the 20lb mark, I am partying like it's 1999. I might even accept Carrrrrrrmen's challenge to a dance-off. Might.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Favorites
I am wearing my favorite blue striped shirt today and that has made me incredibly happy. Why, you ask? It's just a shirt after all!
Well, my lovlies, I have not been able to wear my favorite blue striped shirt in nearly 4.5 YEARS because I couldn't button it up over boobs and tummy. And this morning, with great trepidation I approched said shirt and said, "by God, maybe you shall fit now!". And LO and BEHOLD and BEHOLD and LO it did.
I am giddy.
I am extatic (though I can't spell it)
I am like a kid with candy, instead I am a grown woman with a salad.
I, in fact, will show you pictures of the last time I wore this shirt, while still living in Amsterdam and at some party. I was so happy because I was wearing my favorite blue striped shirt, even though I was already starting to bust out of it a bit (haha, pun intended). That was 4.5 years ago, did I already mention that?
Well, my lovlies, I have not been able to wear my favorite blue striped shirt in nearly 4.5 YEARS because I couldn't button it up over boobs and tummy. And this morning, with great trepidation I approched said shirt and said, "by God, maybe you shall fit now!". And LO and BEHOLD and BEHOLD and LO it did.
I am giddy.
I am extatic (though I can't spell it)
I am like a kid with candy, instead I am a grown woman with a salad.
I, in fact, will show you pictures of the last time I wore this shirt, while still living in Amsterdam and at some party. I was so happy because I was wearing my favorite blue striped shirt, even though I was already starting to bust out of it a bit (haha, pun intended). That was 4.5 years ago, did I already mention that?
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