Counting Blessings

A friend the other day told me about a friend of hers who was supposed to be married on the same day as I am getting married, May 8th. A routine visit to her doctor turned up a lump in her breast and her whole world turned around in an instant. Wedding plans gave way to chemo plans. How can I possibly complain?

Recently I learned that the last boyfriend I had before meeting Damir is fighting aggressive cancer that started in his mouth and now lives in his lymph nodes and lungs. Earlier this week he underwent a lung biopsy and today he had a port inserted into his arm to facilitate his next round of chemo. How can I possibly complain?

Lately I am feeling a bit like a punching bag, and finding it hard to find the air to breathe. Stress is my constant companion and I don't like that my frown lines appear to be growing faster than my smile lines. I have to sit down, close my eyes and count my many many blessings. I am much looking forward to a week on the beach, fruity drink in hand.

So Much to Look Forward To

It's official: I am getting married in less than a month. I am at that stage of wedding planning where planning and thinking about the wedding takes up the majority of my non-sleeping and non-working time. There still feels like much to do, but we're getting down to the nitty-gritty details. For the most part, all the big stuff is done. Mostly.

There's so much to look forward to in the coming 40 days:

- My sister and a cousin of Damir's are throwing me a bridal shower this weekend in Manhattan. Erin is staying the whole weekend and we'll have some girl time together at a swanky hotel (for free, thanks to work connections). I am looking forward to seeing the small group of ladies who will be coming. The shower will be in my favorite Scottish Pub....haggis for all!

- The week before the wedding my family has rented a beach house near Delray Beach. This will be the first time I sleep under the same roof as both my parents since about 1979. I am deliriously happy about this. It means so much to me to have them all close by and not have to worry about shuttling between one parent and the other. There will be lots to celebrate, my mom's and Erin's twin have birthdays in the days before the wedding!

- Obviously I am looking forward to the wedding itself. Though I sorely regret the absence of friends we won't have by our side, I am glad we are doing something so small. It feels less scary and intimidating that way to me. I know it's going to be beautiful and imperfect, lovely and exciting. I've written the ceremony and adore what we'll say to one another as our vows. And I love that my sister will be standing up with me, and my brother will be officiating.

- I look forward to the adventure of marriage! Yes, it's true! And specifically to the man I have chosen. Being Damir's wife certainly comes with challenges, cultural and domestic, but I feel confident I know what I am getting myself in to. I am marrying a man who I adore, who makes me laugh, who listens (even when I know he doesn't want to), who dreams big and often, who has a wonderful imagination and adores me to the core. Who could ask for more?

- THE HONEYMOON.

And finally, I look forward to changing the conversation. Wedding planning talk is a bore, so I commend you if you made it this far down the post. I will be happy to come home and start my next project, whatever that may be!